Therapeutic Writing

My first post of the new year was due to be published on Monday to celebrate Back-to-Work Monday. After two and a half months of recovery, I was beginning to feel much better and weeks of rest in Wales and Norfolk with my lovely family and Tim had done me the world of good.

Unfortunately recovery stalled in it’s final week. We hope nothing is wrong but the symptoms I have had this week, including some more maddening pain, could be indication of something not healing correctly inside me. If I feel worse I am under instruction to head straight to A&E for more tests. Bah humbug!

I blame myself a little for not going to the doctor earlier in the week – I realise now that I am increasing sick of talking clinical to doctors and in some ways I’d rather let whatever is happening do it’s worst than deal with another slightly awkward conversation with a doctor, especially when “it can’t be that bad, surely”. Anyway it took a lot to convince me to make this morning’s urgent appointment, following three days of symptoms, and it shouldn’t have. More bah humbug!

What was supposed to be a back-to-work Monday post (you will eventually see how gleeful this post was/is to be) is now a back-to-tv Thursday post. I write because it will help to make me feel more like this is a minor blip in what has been an amazingly good (or slow but steady, as the specialist put it) recovery rather than the start of more problems. I am scared that it is the start of more problems but maybe admitting it, typing it, will help me to deal with it better. How very angsty of me. Oh goodness…

I am listening to Anna Nalick Breathe –  “just breathe”…

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